13y9m / 10y6m

[sen_no_ongaku]

J is entering eighth grade next year. Puberty hit like a bomb late last summer; right after our return from Japan, his voice suddenly dropped what seemed like an octave, and he shot up like a weed. I think he's grown 3-4 inches since September, and he's eagerly anticipating the day he's taller than me -- he's only got two inches to go, and it seems inevitable. (He recently found out he's taller than my dad and one of my sisters, which filled him with glee.)

All of thirteen years old, sometimes he's great, and sometimes he's a complete butt. He'll talk our ear off about whatever video game he's playing at the moment, often providing NO CONTEXT WHATSOEVER. He's learning what kinds of humor are appropriate for family, and what jokes should be reserved for friends (what we call his "Personality B" humor). He likes to complain, which has been more a consistent personality trait than a recent development, and boy howdy it can grate.

He spends a fair amount of time each day holed up in his room surfing the internet, which we don't police -- but reserve the right to. On school nights we extract his Chromebook, although he still has his phone. (We got him as dumb a phone as we could, but it still has primitive internet and texting capabilities.) He's kept up with his guitar, though he's not terribly diligent about practicing or pushing himself to improve -- it's something he enjoys, but doesn't take terribly seriously, which is OK.

I recently taught him how to shave with disposable safety razors, and now he seems to take any excuse to do so (like a single hair showing up, or if the barest hint of stubble is visible).

Middle school seems to have been a mixed bag so far, but more positive than negative, I think. He has a lot of friends who he's in D&D club with, or arranges online gaming sessions with, or who are participants in an active group chat. (Of course, he appears to have almost no interest in spending time in physical proximity with these friends, so we have no actual idea what they're like). On the other hand, that age is also when many children begin to hone their pettiness and cruelty, and he's been on the receiving end of some of it.

Not that he's been an angel, either. He's done some stupid, mean shit, and has received his share of stern lectures from us (and school officials also, presumably). That said, he has a fierce sense of justice, and (from what we hear, anyway) is a vocal defender of queer folks at his school (though AFAICT, he himself identifies as pretty straight).
__

G is entering his last year of elementary school. Ever since the pandemic, he's liked to wear his hair long. He's super-full of weird and interesting thoughts, and he wants to tell us all about every single one, which is mostly cute but sometimes exhausting, especially if we're, for example, reading a book or cooking dinner.

He wants to do EVERYTHING, to the point where if we wants to add another activity to his schedule, he has to replace another one. Last school year, he was taking guitar lessons, piano lessons, karate, and participated in his school's Drama Club, which was about the limit of the running around we were willing to do.

As of now, he has a much sunnier disposition than J, though he's also more reserved about his relationships; whereas at his age, it seemed like J considered anyone he interacted well with as a friend, G is much more discerning about the levels of closeness he feels with other kids.

He's on the path to becoming a decent pianist, and his piano teacher also encourages him to compose. True to form, his pieces are *quite* singular, reflecting both his stubbornness and singular thought process -- to my (biased) ear, his music definitely stands out as unusual at his teacher's studio composition recitals. I'm sure a part of that is that I encourage and help him to explore whatever direction his creativity wants to take him, and try not to make his music "fit" the rules; I definitely provide guidance, but in the end I try to let him decide how he wants his music to sound.

He's something of a cloud cuckoolander, sometimes doing infuriatingly boneheaded stuff (like toasting something in the oven *while it was on a plastic plate*, melting said plate and ruining the toaster) or whatever bizarre idea comes into his head (like gargling bubble bath water). We consider him our Jason Mendoza, and also reminiscent of Young Neil from Scott Pilgrim.

He seems like the kind of person who's curious to experience as many sensations as he can; and I sometimes feel the need to emphasize to him that he should not try psychoactive drugs until he's at least 18, preferably 21.

__

I don't know exactly when it happened, but sometime in the last few years I started to feel as if I could unleash the full extent of my deadpan humor at them, and they're now both working on their withering glares in response.

ETA: Some other things I want to remember:

Both of them have this odd verbal tic where, as a verbalized pause, they'll repeat the last syllable or two they said. Is that a generational thing?

Both boys are still very huggy, and while they don't always choose the best moments (like when I'm BUILDING IKEA FURNITURE), I'm still glad of it.

Comments

[kass]

I love reading this update and glimpsing your kids as they are now. "Sometimes great, sometimes a complete butt" sounds about right for 13. (I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Z is a rising high school freshman. I mean. I. What.)

I'm glad that middle school hasn't been as socially horrific for J as it was for some of us. (z's year has been SUCH a mixed bag -- the high school aged theater and orchestra friends are a gift, and the kids who started bullying him when he made his Big Social Mistake in February are just the worst.)

Cloud cuckoolander is a great description of G. (And heh, yes, save the psychoactive drugs until his brain is actually formed.)