sen_no_ongaku | 14y6m / 11y4m (Reply)

J is finishing his last year of middle school, and there's a lot of material (for the whole family!) on transitioning to high school. His first year, six classes will be chosen for him, and he has the choice of two electives. Right now he's excited about robotics, so he's aiming to fill those electives with and Project Lead The Way, an engineering-focused program. (He was also interested in Culinary Arts, but it doesn't seem like he'll be able to fit it into his schedule.)

I pushed him to take Krav Maga for Teens, which thankfully he's been enjoying! We've been trying to find some physical activity he likes, and given the state of the US, having even rudimentary self-defense skills seems pretty important right now. We'll see how he feels about the class once they start sparring, which I think is about six months from now.

In his biggest news, J has a date! He met a girl during the activity we set up for him during February vacation week. I saw them interact for all of a minute while picking him up one day, and it was clear as day she like-liked him; and on the car ride home I teased out of him that he like-liked her as well, and so encouraged (bribed) him to ask her out. She doesn't have a phone, so they've had to communicate via her mom's phone, which I imagine is maximally awkward, but they'll be hanging out at a nearby boba shop this weekend. Godspeed, kiddo.

(There are definitely some of my own issues at play here. I'm terrible at 1) figuring out if someone is attracted to me and 2) asking that person out, and I want him to be better at both than I am!)

He's an ardent and vocal defender of progressive values at school, which I'm proud of him for. I'm sure he doesn't go about it in the best way possible -- like me, he's not good at de-escalating -- but I'm glad he has the courage to speak out and speak up, and be a visible ally. Sometimes I think he really should consider law, because he has a keenly felt sense of justice, but it's engineering that he's truly interested in.
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Meanwhile, G's biggest news is that they've come out as non-binary. As far as I can tell, they're still comfortable in their body, their gender presentation, their name, etc., but just don't want to care about the expectations that come with "he/him". They're not particularly out yet; they're OK with us telling our friends and family, but at school I think only their best friend knows.

Like J, they're getting ready to transition, as middle school starts next year. I don't think it will be as jarring logistically as the transition to high school; I think the hard parts will be social, as it seems to me that middle school is when kids' meanness and cruelty starts to really manifest.

They recently started on ADHD meds, 5mg of metadate daily, and (after three days) it seems like they prefer to be on it. Some combination of concerns from their 5th grade teacher and G's own frustration with their ADHD encouraged us to consult with their pediatrician about possible treatment. There's also the possibility of G seeing a therapist, so we'll see if they're open to that.